How Sex Changed My Relationship

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How Sex Changed My Relationship

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Sex in high school is viewed differently by everyone. To some, it is something that only happens to 16 year olds in movies, to some it is still gross, and to others it’s a casual thing that happens with various guys. Whether it is for the good or the bad, there is no doubt that having sex in a high school relationship brings out a whole new array of feelings and emotions. I have collected some stories of sexually active teenagers at our school to try and capture multiple viewpoints and try to expose what it is really like to share yourself intimately with someone else.


“Damon” had been friends with “Isabella” for a while and they were pretty close. Eventually, the inevitable happened and Damon and Isabella started dating. “Damon” said that she was upfront with her feelings and pretty quickly into the relationship told him that she wanted to have sex with him. They were both virgins. After dating for about three months, “Damon” and “Isabella” decided to lose their virginity to each other. Afterwards, “Damon” said he felt a lot closer with her, and that he felt like they could freely talk about intimate things together. After about eight months they broke up, but he told me not for reasons to do with having sex. He says that he doesn’t regret it and honestly he’s just really glad he got to have sex. But one thing he did say was that you shouldn’t have sex with someone unless you love them.


“Sarah” and “Alexander” have been dating for almost two and a half years. About one year into their relationship, they decided to have sex. “Sarah” was a virgin, however “Alexander” was not. After having sex for the first time, “Sarah” said she immediately felt closer with him. She also experienced feelings of guilt though, and told me that she still does today because she’s Catholic and feels like she is constantly disobeying God. She and her boyfriend have sex about once every one to two months. She shared that it was a risk she has had to take because not all of her sex has been protected and she has had to take Plan B before. Overall “Sarah” feels that having sex with “Alexander” has been an overall positive experience and doesn’t regret it because she feels like he is the one and knows that he respects her. She says she would regret it though if he ever left.


“Emma” and her boyfriend “Jeremy” dated for two years. They were both virgins and although she wanted to, she shared with me that she was scared to have sex for various reasons like pregnancy and her parents finding out. Eventually, “Emma” finally decided to let “Jeremy” take her virginity after one year and eight months of dating. I asked her what finally changed her mind about wanting to have sex with him and she said it was because her friends were all having sex with their boyfriends and she felt left out. Also, she figured she owed it to him because they had been dating so long. She said she felt closer to him but not necessarily in a physical way, but in an emotional way that showed they could completely trust each other. What most overwhelmed her though was an immediate feeling of intense guilt. “Emma” had grown up Christian and now felt like a part of her value was gone. She wanted to be a good girlfriend though so they still continued to have sex. Even though “Emma” loved Jeremy, eventually their difference in opinion on sex, him thinking he deserved it and her feeling dirty for doing it, caused them to end their relationship less than 2 months later. At first “Emma” thought she didn’t regret it because she loved him at the time and at least she got the awkward part of the first time over. After a while though, she wished that she would have saved herself for someone who truly respected her.
Although it may seem like everyone is having sex in high school, only 47% of teens have reported to have had sex at least once (which is still a lot). But please, please don’t feel pressured to have sex just because everyone else is, because take it from someone who knows, that is not a good reason! More stats include that the pregnancy rate among female teens is 27 births per 1,000 sexually active teenagers. Also, about 35% of sexually active teens have contracted the HPV virus. Sex may seems like a casual thing but it comes with many emotional and physical consequences as well as endless statistics. Always keep that in mind.